Why Illusions never change into something real…

It seems that wherever I turn my eyes these days, I see bad news. We have grown accustomed to equating news programs with distress. Catastrophes ranging from ‘natural’ disasters, to wars and armed conflicts are manifesting everywhere. It seems also that investigating and analyzing those problems easily throws us into bottomless pits of opinions and opposing opinions creating outer and inner conflict and resulting in anger and agitation. It is no longer a question of two sides to every story, but more like many, many sides to so the parts of each story. I have not found any definitive answers anywhere. I wish things were black and white and 1-2-3 but they aren’t. If I can’t embrace solutions to the problems, then maybe I can use these problems in another way.

Buddhists talk about problems being opportunities. Difficult phases are periods when windows are open to our minds, allowing us to see what’s in there. My country is going through a very difficult time. The ‘opposition’ has decided to up the tone of argument a few notches, leading to an armed struggle on the streets of Beirut and spilling into other areas of the country. This may be one of the most difficult periods of my life. In addition to professional, social, and personal obstacles that I face like everyone else, I am now also facing the obstacle of seeing my country going through a potentially destructive conflict. Being away is not easy. I worry about my loved ones, I worry about my business, I worry about my city. Problems are manifesting. The best that I can do is to use them as an opportunity to understand my mind. My emotions and reactions to these problems will be the looking glass that can help me see the state of my mind and its inner workings.

The antidote for emotions and reactions does not come from the opposite direction. It comes from the middle, from the comfort of non-engagement, the quenching non-taste of water when one is spitting cotton. My philosophical school and my experience have taught me that fighting emotions and reactions produces the same effect as running with them: agitation. It is better to use them to simply see the mind: accept what it’s experiencing and understand its processes in hope of recognizing its nature and becoming a better, happier person.

My reactions and emotions to the recent events have been buzzing in my head in the form of thoughts. I have been experiencing fear, anger, worry, depression, mental fatigue, restlessness, sleeplessness, confusion, and all out agitation. I have been fixated on the problem, which has in turn lead my mind to fixate on other problems and even expecting them. My partner often jokes about work being a sort of waiting for the problem de jour. In the past week I started to unconsciously become that waiting.

So where's that antidote?

Looking back upon the continuum of my life, it’s easy to see that everything passes. Good things come to an end, true, but, by that same logic, so do the bad. Everything moves and changes. It’s difficult to see that when we’re in the hole but we know that that’s the nature of things. Therefore, in spite of the shit that’s stirring in it right now, I can see that the nature of my mind is a clear, clean, non agitated, calm abiding. The problems and the happy events are like clouds moving along, constantly changing. They don’t and can’t stay and they certainly have no effect on the nature of the sky. Clouds keep coming back, of course. But when we see them for what they are, as passing phenomena that obstruct and enrich the visual of our sky but that can't hide the fact that it’s still there, they stop having any effect on us.

So I sit down and meditate. Thoughts come and go but I remain un-engaged. If and when I find myself unconsciously engaged, I simply and gently bring my mind back to the only thing I’m sure of: the breath. Free from fixation, my mind is calm, untouchable yet all around me, un-distracted, fully aware, and infinitely blissful. Free from fixation, my mind is one with God.

Realizing the nature of my mind is no easy matter though. The clouds keep hitting back. Sometimes they take me off guard and I forget for a while the reality of the sky behind them. However, reapplying the anecdote of realization again and again brings me ever closer to the truth and makes me more and more capable of overcoming obstacles. Problems become opportunities to receive and practice those blissful realizations. Obstacles and the people who cause them become compassionate manifestations of the Divine, helping me to come ever closer to His truth. When problems are transformed in this way, they are reduced to the illusions that they really are. Recognition becomes liberation.